Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Quest to Find Happiness...

In our never-ending quest to find happiness in life, we often find ourselves empty and unable to grasp every detail of great things in front of us. Even the smile we give hurts us because we know it is a lie. Deep inside, the sorrow we feel never really went away. While we enjoy the fruits of our labor with our so-called friends, the sorrow still lurks within us. While we enjoy the company of a special person who we shouldn’t be with, it brought us happiness but sorrow never went away. We bought expensive things to brag on our friends, we laugh with them but the sorrow – yes, it’s still there.

It feels like the more we try to find happiness in life; it just brought us more sorrow. Just waiting for us to be alone so it can burst from within – and then we cry – we cry endlessly. “How can I survive?” we asked. And then we delve into a decision that may change our life – “Should I sacrifice everything for my happiness?” we asked again. We know what’s right but the emptiness is something hard for us to bear. We cried again, this time it is because we are about to make THAT decision.

Life became meaningful as we venture the fruits of our decision. We stopped for awhile and think – “Did I make the right decision?” and then you held your hand in me – trying to consult me if I am happy. I do feel happy! – I answered. And without regrets we held on to that meaningful moment. We sing songs of joy and dance while at it.

This time we are not alone because we found a person who can fill us with happiness – and we are happy. But I hear a voice inside me and I hope you can hear it too –it’s faint and I couldn’t hear the words clearly. “haaaa” you sighed then a sharp pain we felt like no other just burst from within. “Was that sorrow?” we asked and then I saw you shed a tear. But the pain went away easy as we grab on the person right next to us – we are happy.

We know that everything here on earth has its end; so we tried to make the best of what we have. Time goes by and that sharp pain keeps bursting indiscriminately within us and it is tormenting. Somehow, sorrow revealed itself again. It seems that even the relationship we just built with that person never washed away that sorrow. We ended the relationship because it was meaningless already.

And now we are back to where we were - the quest to find happiness. We asked again “How can I survive?” And the only solution just came out without a warning – “Let’s go home!”

And so we went our way back home to our family only to find out that it is broken already. It seems the family we built a long time ago was broken the moment our family knew about the decision we made – yes, with that person. And then the sharp pain came again, this time we endured it. This time there was nobody to cling on so you just held on to me – grasping me as you cry endlessly. It feels like we deserve it.

- your heart

If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me - Psalm 66:18

Let God guide our hearts in our decision not our mind. If we strongly rely on our hearts, it will only lead us to temptation because we have a weak heart. Let us not rely on our own strength and understanding. Let God accompany is in our journey to find peace and happiness for ourselves and our family.
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31
Visit PEBA's website and be inspired by fellow OFW in their goal of strengthening OFWs family family relationship. Another thing is, please VOTE for my entry at PEBA - I am at #10. Thank you! Here is my ENTRY.While you're there, try and read other entries as well and be inspired.


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