Saturday, June 11, 2011

Should I Spank my Child?

A child's success is a parent's success as well but when they fail we parents asks ourselves sometimes "where have we failed?". Their greatness reflects the values we teach them and of course their misbehaviours as well. Was it really the parent's fault if a child misbehaves?

First of all, the children may be learning a lot of things at school but HOME is where they learn most of their behaviours. It is our duty as parents to correct our children if we see our child's misdeeds. If we lack the effort to correct these misbehaviours, it will lead to bad attitudes.

Ize's 5th Birthday. Taken last April 5, 2011
Should you spank your child?

In some places, spanking a child is considered a child abuse and in some it is considered a necessary measure in disciplining a child. How about you? What is your opinion on this?

I belong to a family that believes that it is necessary to spank a child sometimes to learn their lessons. I was brought up that way and I have never hated my parents for it. I believe it was the right thing to do. More so when I've learned about it in the Bible.

Hebrews 10: 11 says "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Proverbs 23: 13-15 says "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad. ".

Proverbs 13: 24 says "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. "

Around 1980 to 1996 in Sweden, a child died as a result of physical abuse by the parents. Can it be considered a child discipline? Obviously, this is not a means of discipline but to hurt the child. Never hit or spank your child in anger coz it will only provoke them to hate you. (refer to Slate: Hitting Bottom - Why America should outlaw spanking)

Proverbs 19: 18 says "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death. ".

Ephisians 6: 4 says "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.".

In some studies, spanking a child may have a long-term harm than a short-term of instant obedience. I believe that it may really have a long-term harm if a parent neglects explanation to their child or unable to balance discipline and praising or giving them rewards. (refer to CBSNews: Spanking May Cause Long-Term Harm)

In my case, I spank my child for his misbehaviours but I reward him for the good things he has done. That way, he'll know it is best to do good than otherwise. Coz I believe if a parent neglects to give praise or give rewards to their child, the child may think that all they do is wrong which could develop to them having lack of self-esteem and other negative attitudes.

I love my child and I don't want him be in harm's way so if I can avoid spanking him, I try to avoid it but if it is necessary, I spank him. I believe it brings more harm to them if you shout at them than spanking them.

I told my son not to bring toys at school coz he may loose it there many times already. Last night, I found a piece of his toy watch and asked him where was it and without hesitation, he admittedly said "I'm sorry Dad. I lost it at school." Instead of getting angry, I just remind him not to do it again. I am so proud of my son, who has no fear of admitting his faults and be honest about it.


3 comments:

Yellow Bells said...

hi, i do spank my daughter from time to time when I really need to but after that when we are both calm, i talk to her and explain her in a childs point of view the reason why I did it. at tama si bino palo lang sa pwet and not in any other parts of the body.

Chin chin said...

Sa totoo lang, sometimes I commit bloopers when it comes to spanking my children. Hirap! I still have to learn the art of spanking, if you can call it an art.

Noel said...

Thanks Yellow Bells and Chinchin. Us parents should also be disciplened in taking care of our children even at spanking.Spank them too much without explanation and they'll start to think you don't love them.

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